There and Back Again

Sorry I’ve been inactive over the past few days, I have been traveling alone in Germany all weekend. More accurately, I spent the weekend with one of my best friends from high school Tyler Tevis. My parents know him very well, but to all of my college friend followers, Tevis and I go way back. We first met in middle school, gradually building a strong friendship through our high school years. Myself, Tevis, Brendan Ryan and Eric Super formed a best friends kind of group around freshman and sophomore year called A2P, which stands for Apples to Pancakes. We came up with this brilliant name after around the 10^th time we all slept over at Eric’s house, playing apples to apples until we passed out and then waking up to find his mom making us pancakes. Those kinds of names always just come to you, much like my earliest childhood friend group Weird Club, or the perfectly descriptive phrase for my frat Fuckin’ Sammy.

Tevis and I really bonded second semester of junior year when he got kicked out of his Dad’s house and lived with me for the remainder of the school year, which was about 4 ½ months. Our relationship transcended what we thought was an already solid friendship into brotherhood. I still think of him as my brother. When he gets a chance to visit home, even if I’m not in Cleveland at the time, he still goes to see my parents. He was my first brother from another mother, though now I have 8 of those (they know who they are). Growing up, I always considered Tevis to be my most peculiar friend. He dressed hilariously, he lost his virginity before any of my other friends, he smoked funny little joints and carried them around in a bag that he called his Doobie Snacks, we came up with funny words together, made weird noises around strangers, and just got into all sorts of shenanigans that I otherwise would have never even thought to do. And for these reasons, I have done everything in my power since high school to make sure he still knows I love him. So, with the brief context out of the way, on to the shit show that was this glorious weekend.

I took two buses and a train to get to the town closest to his Air Force base, which was fairly nerve wracking, making all those transfers in random stations in Germany. I’m actually on my final installation of public transportation as I write this post, which is a two-story bus from Nurnberg to Prague. He met me at the station in Kaiserslautern and brought me back to his Air Force base, which is far larger than what I anticipated. 50,000 people lived on the base, making it less of a base and more of a “Little America”. It was complete with 24 gas station marts with roller dogs, fast food chains run by Philippinos (or Hispasians, as we dubbed them), and signs exclusively in English, which I have certainly missed during my time here. Once we got to his dorm room, the shenanigans commenced instantly.  In other words, out came to Cuba Libres. We proceeded to get sufficiently inebriated, called a cab, and Tevis, his friend Kyle and I went to every bar within a 20-mile radius. I would supply more details but it gives me a bit of a headache trying to remember. I do know that we spent a lot of money, almost got in a fight with these two German assholes, and apparently took a lot of pictures in the main town square. We got back to his place around 6 in the morning, and tried to watch Minority Report but didn’t make it past pushing the disc actually into the Xbox, it just sat in the open disc tray all night.

Saturday was the true revelry though. We took a party bus to the largest Wine Fest in the world. I have no idea what it was called because every sign was in German, but I believed it when I saw it. I didn’t quite know what to expect, but it definitely surpassed any expectations. There was every carnival ride imaginable, from a ferris wheel to go karts, rides that spun until you threw up and swings that twirled about 60 yards high. Roads of games, food stands, and wine tents sprawled out in every direction, which made it very easy to get lost, not like we ever cared. I’m not a huge fan of wine, so after my first half liter, I decided to just keep it basic and got a full liter of beer, which kept me busy for about 20 minutes. There were three massive tents in the center of the festival that bands would play classic rock in. People dressed in silly German costumes danced on the tables during all hours of the day and well into the night, which we obviously had to partake in. I don’t know if it was the alcohol thinking, but for hours I was convinced that I needed to buy a pair of Lederhosen, as I was dead sure I could totally rock that shit. I still think that actually, and I may have to get myself a pair. As the day progressed into the night, I hit a bit of a rough patch, which usually happens when you begin drinking at 3 in the afternoon, but Tevis and Eggy pulled me right out of it with a bacon hot dog and go karts. We kept spinning each other out and the guy working the booth had to come out and get us un-wedged between each other and the walls. Needless to say, I think I understand why drunken driving is discouraged. 

(<---------- us on a ferris wheel, Tevis on the right, Eggy in the middle)

I loved walking around with Tevis, drinking wine, laughing at people and enjoying a perfect day. Nothing has changed between us—even though he’s in the Air Force, he’s still the same ol’ Tevis, making funny sounds, sarcastic as all hell, and taking pictures of German women’s cleavage while power thrusting on top of tables. I suppose he dresses a bit more normal now, but other than that, I felt like we were back in junior year of high school, which normally would be a bad thing, but this weekend, it was the best thing.

Of course, more happened in this day than I’ve explained, but we were either drunk or hung over for about 90% of our time together, so give me a break. That’s pretty much it though; I think I got out the majority of the details. I’m super glad I took this chance to see him, and it will probably be a long time before I see him again. At the end of the month, he’s getting shipped out to Djibouti for 6 months where he’ll be overlooking newly installed radio communication software. Then he’s back to Germany until at least next October. I’m sure he’ll be just fine though, he’s always been a smart guy. I wish nothing but the very best for him, now and forever. Good luck out there buddy, I’ll be right here when you get back.